Things I cried about between Christmas and the New Year 😭

Or, overstimulated: a retrospective

We made it! Miraculously, we made it. The mad dash from October through December is in the books, and 2025 is here. Cozy season (January and February) has arrived, and I am ready to celebrate by: moving into my new planner, scrolling my camera roll to reminisce on all the memories made, and making as few plans as possible until March. Oh, and eagerly checking the weather in hopes of a snowstorm.

We packed up all of our Christmas decorations on the evening of the 25th, and I loved it. If you like leaving the Christmas lights up ‘til January, I get it. I used to be you. ‘Tis the season until New Year’s Day, right? Anymore, though, once we have celebrated our own little Christmas, both Tyler and I are ready for it all to go, ASAP.

Taking it all down feels like a step toward the New Year - a clean(er) slate.

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While that Christmas glow still lingers and the confetti from NYE settles, I give you this: not resolutions, hopes, dreams, or plans (although I do have some of those). No, instead, let’s take a tour of the things that made me cry from 12/24 to 1/1.

Before I proceed, an important disclaimer: everything makes me cry. Some of these moments are silly and happy. Some are sad. Some tearful moments came from frustration and tiredness and overwhelm.

I found myself thinking a lot about all the time, effort, and energy I put into making Christmas happen for my family, and I thought about how so much of what I was thinking and feeling was invisible. Mostly because I was too busy to really sit with or talk about my feelings, but still — all that time, effort, energy, and emotion that I put in is a big part of what made Christmas magical. So before I fully close the book of 2024, here are a few moments where I felt *all the feels*. I want these documented, too.

Things I cried (or almost cried) about, a retrospective

1. My son has a mid-December birthday. My daughter has a mid-summer birthday, which puts her half-birthday celebration at school in the same week. Planning and organizing all of this — wanting both of them to feel special, on top of getting prepared for Christmas… oof!

2. Cooking and baking: I like to make cozy comfort foods around the holidays: from scratch cinnamon rolls, puppy chow, biscuits and gravy, and so on. (Carbs, basically.) This year, I added Christmas Eve enchiladas, too. One might think it was heaving out the stand mixer at 10:00 pm the night before Christmas to prep the aforementioned cinnamon rolls that sent me into tears of frustration, but no! Surprisingly, no. It was the puppy chow and a powdered sugar all over the kitchen situation. Perhaps trying to make one too many comfort foods defies the purpose?

3. Seeing how excited my kids were on Christmas morning. That’s it. ♡

4. Watching my kids enjoy their favorite toys of the morning: a karaoke machine and a light-up disco ball. (Also: screaming about who’s turn it was, of course.) 😳

5. ^ Worrying that I’m not a Fun Mom (again).

6. I didn’t mention earlier that not only did we tear down all of our Christmas decor that night, but we also packed to leave for a trip the following morning—a few days tucked away in a cabin with my parents, my sister, and her family. I think I collapsed into bed by 12:30, only to be up by 5:00 the next morning. I took a LONG car nap. 😴

7. Seeing my kids have the time of their lives with their cousins AND watching them build bonds with their grandparents, aunt, and uncle. Seeing your kids love your people, their people, is so special.

8. My dogs are in their senior years, and my Aussie has quickly developed arthritis in the last few months. We used to joke that he still had the energy of a puppy until suddenly he didn’t. It has been hard to see him tired, old, and hurting.

9. I read only four books this year. I tapped through everyone’s Good Reads Wrapped story slides in envy, wishing I would have read more. I love reading! But this season of life often leaves me feeling tired and scattered by the end of the night, and I reach for my phone instead of my Kindle. (This is the one real resolution I have, btw: getting back to reading. Getting lost in fiction = self care.)

10. Realizing all the memories we are making, and knowing we have so many memories yet to make. Knowing, truly, that it is all worth it. The tiredness, the frustration, the insecurities, the coziness, the peace, the craziness—it can (and does) all coexist.

Properly portioned mimosas (more sparkle than OJ) carrying me through Christmas morning chaos with littles. 🥂

New living room decor / a reminder that everything is a work in progress. 🔧

Heading into 2025, I’m not making any grand resolutions or goals. I want to continue to work to be a patient, present, and reflective parent and partner. I want to read more, of course. Mostly, I want to be gentle with myself and with others. I want to rest. I want to accept (celebrate?) always being a work in progress, striving toward balance, growth, and clarity—whatever that means in my current season.

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