I am not a casual person 🙋🏻♀️
On trying hard at, well, everything
The entire premise of my Substack is to capitalize on my tendency to optimize everything. Whether it’s a resource I’ve created at work, the way I’m handling a parenting dilemma, or how I’m managing my time, I’m relentlessly fine-tuning everything in my life.
I used to consider this perfectionism, which I simultaneously wore as a badge of honor and saw as a burden. But now, I see it as more of an awareness that everything, always, is in process. If everything is changing all the time, it is impossible to choose a method and stick to it forever.
So as I encounter a new perspective or begin to shift a habit, I write about it here. And my goal, as always, is to work toward balance. Or better yet, coziness. Calm.
Do I think this is ever 100% attainable? No, not really. But I do think that small shifts can often make a big difference.
All of this means that I am a big-time trier. So much so that I’m not even good at feigning nonchalance. That effortless, cool-girl vibe is just not in the cards for me, okay? I am not the Serena van der Woodsen but rather the Leslie Knope of whatever I do, and I am very okay with that.
In the words of my favorite poet, Taylor Swift, “Trying is essential and effortlessness is a myth.”1
Successful people try, and try loudly. And I’ve noticed that I have defined success differently at different stages of my life. Right now, success to me means:
Being a calm, sturdy, present parent
Balancing work and home responsibilities
Finding pockets of time for myself
And although it is impossible to do all of these things all the time, you’re going to catch me trying at it every. Single. Day.
Lately, I’ve been trying to:
Consider the kind of energy I bring, especially with my kids
Manage a big project at work and not get overwhelmed by it
Buy a new pair of shorts (why is it so hard to find the right fit, rise, and length?)
Figure out if I need a new shampoo or something (why is my hair being weird?)
Read more — audiobooks count
Scroll less
But also, allow a little scroll session without feeling bad about it
Be mindful that my presence is more meaningful to my kids than my productivity
Memorize my kids at these ages
Choose a Mother’s Day treat for myself, still
I believe in this moment, I was trying to tune out the chaos.
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📓 If you enjoyed this post, you might also like this one about NOT trying
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Oh I am a TOTAL Lesley Knope. Be more Lesley, I say. The more Lesley, the better.