A 13-hour car trip, a beach, and a tired mom

Or, reflections on my first traveling experience as a mom of 2 under 4

Hi! I’m Courtney. 🙋🏻‍♀️ Welcome to The Thursday List, where I share my small shifts in perspective and habit as I chase a cozier, more balanced life. I mostly write about home, motherhood, and organization. Hit subscribe below to receive weekly updates straight to your inbox.

It’s night three or four of our family vacation to Gulf Shores, Alabama. My niece, my mom, and my daughter are sitting in my parents’ room at our Airbnb, cuddled on the bed and winding down for the night. My niece, three, wants to dance to a Taylor Swift song, but neither she, my daughter (almost four), nor my mom know a song off the top of their heads.

My daughter says, “I’ll go get my mom! She’ll know!”

And let me tell you, after three (or four, I can’t remember) days of waking up at 5:30 with my kids, stuffing them in and peeling them out of bathing suits, lathering them up with sunscreen, coaxing them to eat real food, making sure they get a nap, and so on, that made my mom heart melt a little. (You’re looking at an OG Swiftie right here, okay?)

So, of course, I got our iPad and pulled up The Eras Tour on Disney+ so that we could sing and dance a little before bed (Lover and Fearless eras, for inquiring minds).

My daughter and niece up past their bedtimes, checking out the beach (within walking distance of our condo) on our first night.

This was our first actual vacation since having kids—a whole-family trip to celebrate my dad’s recent retirement. We settled on Gulf Shores, Alabama: an Airbnb with a pool and within walking distance to the beach, shops, and restaurants. It was such a cute spot, and I’d definitely go back.

Instead of a play-by-play of our entire trip, I’m going to share a list of reflections I had about my first vacation as a mom—realizations I had during and after, what I’m taking away from it, and if I would do it again.

What I did before

• I planned, and I planned, and I planned. Intensely. I feel best when I have a solid plan in place, so a trip like this was obviously no exception. For any travel, I usually start building a list of what I need to do to prep and what I need to bring at least a few weeks in advance. This has resulted in many mini-legal-pad-sized papers with half-completed packing lists stashed in various areas of my house.

• Before this trip, though, I compiled all of those into a shiny, sparkly, beautifully organized Master Packing List¹. She’s typed. She has categories for everyone in my family. She is PEAK organization — my mind on paper. Aaaah, the bliss of it! This was a lifesaver the evening before we left, circa 11:45 pm, when I was still deeply entrenched in packing and almost forgot my contacts and my phone charger, had they not been on ~the list~. 😅

Driving (and driving and driving and driving)

• We stopped frequently on the way there, dividing the 13 hour drive into two days which consisted of 9 hours of travel each day, including many stops. It was a lot. It was draining. It ranged from fine to deeply unenjoyable. But to me, stopping more often in order to keep my littlest guy in better spirits was worth it.

• We decided to drive through the night on the way home, and that was absolutely the best call for us. The kids didn’t get the most restful sleep, but they did sleep more or less the entire way. We were tired, but I think it was easier on us all.

Reflections

• I tried to remain realistic with my expectations, overall. I anticipated the trip being equal parts enjoyable and difficult, what with the up at 5:30 each morning and the bathing suits and the naps. But even so, I noticed I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to have the best time and really enjoy it, since it was our first family vacation. Soak it up, my brain told me. Are you having fun? Have more fun! It shouted. And I did! I had fun. But the hustle and exhaustion of it all was very real, too. This was a both-and situation: I had to make room for all of it. I can’t say I perfectly achieved any kind of balance, but I can say that, looking back on our vacation from the couch in our home (see picture below) after we traveled back 13 hours through the night, I was already seeing it all with rose-colored glasses. All of the big fun moments and the little sweet moments had already eclipsed the hard stuff.

• Watching your children have fun—even if you wish you were relaxing on the beach reading a book rather than fretting over your child getting too close to the ocean to be swooped right in—sparks absolute joy. It really, really does. It’s cliche because it is true. I have said that I am a serial optimizer, because I am relentlessly trying to improve everything. But watching my daughter’s absolute joy at seeing the ocean for the first time—I didn’t need to optimize that. Seeing my son’s delight at being with his grandparents, aunt and uncle, and cousins every day—that quieted all most of my mental noise.

• There’s a lot of chatter on the internet about core memories and creating them for our kids. Last week I said that I’ve been thinking a lot about how our time and attention are our most precious commodities, and I think building core memories for our family is the most worthy and rewarding place to spend my energy. This will be the first of many full-family vacations, each one a building block of a core memory. And that, my friend, is worth it. ♡

A few travel accessories that made our trip easier

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• If you ever travel with a baby, I can recommend a SlumberPod enough.

• Travel sound machines — much easier to bring than what we have at home.

• These cute duffles were exactly the right size for my kids’ things.

• Packing cubes! I could find all of my things easily and had more space to pack.

• No longer will I toss my jewelry into a plastic bag. This travel jewelry box is it.

And to close, a few photos from our trip 🏖

After our first travel day. The kids’ first hotel experience!

Somewhat patiently waiting for the adults to be ready to head to the beach.

She’s a ✨ beach girlie ✨

My parents and their grandkids. All but my littlest, who hated the heat, the beach, and the pool. 🙃

Oysters! Are you a fan? I am.

Tired couch mom on the day we returned.

1. This is the kind of organizational resource I eventually plan to offer with my paid subscription. More on this later!