I didn't make the apple cake (and other compromises)
Featured: an 8:00 pm dinner. Read on for context.
It was late October, and we went apple picking. I had it on my fall bucket list, the weather was sunny and crisp and perfect, and hardly any meltdowns were occurring (from any of us), so we figured it was a good day for the quintessential fall activity.
Also on my fall bucket list was “make an apple cake.” This was the most ambitious of bucket list tasks, of course, because I do not have time to bake. I barely have time to stay on top of regular chores and sleep enough, let alone bake something. Nonetheless, I have a talent and a fault for truly, truly believing I can accomplish way more than time allows. Perhaps this magical thinking speaks to an overconfidence in my time management, or maybe a stubborn refusal to acknowledge my own limited bandwidth, but regardless, baking was on the list.
In my head, I romanticized that the apples for the cake would be the apples we picked. How cute! Very A+ mom behavior, baking a cake out of apples that we picked as a family. So, with this intention in mind, apples were picked, memories were made, fun was had (along with some tears because, you know, toddlers and babies). Apples came home; a few were eaten as snacks or packed with lunches. The week started to slide by, as it does, and late each evening, when all the tasks were finished, I’d look at that basket of apples on the counter and think that surely, tomorrow, I’ll make that cake.
Reader, I never made the cake. We ate and enjoyed all the apples, one by one, and that was that. And I have to tell you, I wasn’t surprised. It was almost like I knew, in the back of my head, that I was never going to make it. I’m not in my cake-baking era. I’m in my eating Cool Whip with chocolate chips while folding laundry and watching Gilmore Girls for the fourth time era, and I’m mostly fine with it.
In this era of motherhood, everything is a trade-off. Staying up late to mindlessly scroll my phone means that my 5:00 am alarm is really, really rude the next day. Staying on top of household tasks and chores means less time to rest. Finally getting out to see a friend means tomorrow’s to-do list is much longer. All of this brings me to one of my biggest and most time-consuming tasks: cooking.
Truly, I enjoy cooking. But right now, trying to cook even the simplest of meals and then eat said meal as a family all before my kids’ 7:00 pm bedtime is, to put it mildly, a lot. And sometimes I hustle to get dinner on the table for everyone, sometimes I do that A+ mom thing, and it feels really great. But sometimes, we eat cereal or eggs for dinner, and that feels alright, too. (Compromise. Balance.)
But, as someone who likes good food, I have to carve out at least a little time to cook. So, twice a week, I opt for a late, post kid-bedtime dinner. Once my babies are down, and the house is mostly put back together, I summon the tiny sliver of energy I have left to make dinner for Tyler and me. And, for the most part, I’m always glad when I choose 8:00 pm dinner. It feels like self-care, making a nice-ish meal for just the two of us instead of scrambling eggs or heating up a frozen burrito.
A recent 8:00 pm dinner. See recipe linked below.
But still, two things are true: having a nice meal every once in a while is needed, and mustering the energy to cook after the kids are down is tough. I’m still, day by day, figuring out where to spend my limited time and energy tokens. (I’ve decided to spend some on this, after all.)
If you are someone who likes lists and plans, I’ll close with this: our loose dinner plan in this current era:
Monday: Easy kid dinner (PB&J, mac and cheese cup, fruit, rotisserie chicken, etc.) followed by a late mom and dad dinner
Tuesday: Leftovers for all
Wednesday: Kid dinner followed by “You’re on Your Own, Kid” for us, meaning rustle up something easy on your own (yes, this is a Taylor reference)
Thursday: Takeout for all or kid dinner + 8:00 pm dinner, depending on whether or not it’s been a week
Friday: Kid dinner + YOYOK
Weekend: At least one family meal
8:00 pm dinners pictured were instant pot short rib noodle soup (add a soft boiled egg) and lemon chicken soup with orzo with peppery torn croutons. Whatever you do, do not skip the croutons. In fact, eat half of them from the pan, right after they come out, if you like feeling instant joy.