As it turns out, I love Valentine's Day
(On acknowledging what brings us joy)
I started collecting little gifts for my family for Valentine’s day over a month in advance. I had a day off, I told myself, might as well stop by our cute, local toy shop. I’m really just getting this done, checking it off my to-do list, I said. A mega pack of stick-on earrings for my jewelry-loving three year old is a good start, I thought. A long-sleeved tee with hearts on it (obviously), rainbow hair clips in the shape of flowers, a candy necklace, and on and on my little collection grew. My one-year-old needed a few things too, of course. A new toy, a book. That will do. Something small for my husband (we always say we aren’t doing gifts, but then we do).
As I gathered these tokens of love for my family, I realized a simple, uncomplicated truth: I was looking forward to it. I was surprised by this, what with my dislike of crafts, red and pink, and general ostentatiousness, but still, the realization was a quick and uncluttered one. I enjoy Valentine’s Day.
I’m telling you, I found myself nearly influenced to purchase a sweater adorned with a colorful heart pattern. And this sweater—it had pink on it! Who am I, I thought?
I think what I found most enjoyable was, in comparison to Christmas, the absence of pomp and circumstance. There’s no two-month on-ramp, no sky-high self-imposed expectations to *make memories* and *create traditions*, and no major social events required. The preparation was quietly, almost sneakily joyful.
My realization was solidified when, after school, I watched my daughter excitedly climb into her chair at the kitchen table, paper sack of valentines from her classmates in hand. She turned the decorated, crumpled bag upside down, and out spilled paper valentines (lots of Elsas and Spidermans), trinkets, and crafts. We looked at nearly all of them, talking about who they were from and what they said. She wasn’t a fan of the container of slime (fair), but instantly wanted to apply all the water tattoos (we stopped after three). Seeing my kids happy makes me happy, and as it turns out, we can add “now loves Valentine’s Day” to the list of things that have shifted in my life since becoming a mom.
One might say that this holiday is too commercialized, too fake, and that we should celebrate those that we love every day, not just on one day. And even if those things are true, it’s also true that taking a day out of the year to make those close to us feel extra loved is a net positive, joyful thing, even if it is also a “Hallmark holiday.”
As a collector of words, one of my personal mantras is from the popular Mary Oliver poem “Don’t Hesitate.” In it, she says “If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy,
don’t hesitate. Give in to it.” And then, “Joy is not made to be a crumb.” If there is anything to make space for in our busy, busy lives, it is certainly joy. So whether it comes from a new hobby, reality TV, making time for a friend date, scrolling Instagram, or a commercialized, pinktastic holiday about love, I say, follow the joy, always.
I have one sweater I wear with a giant heart on it just this one say. We all celebrate in our own ways!